Ode to my rapper

I am in love.

Yes.

No, I’m not kidding. Love-love. That kinda crazy, you talk a little too much and you share your dreams type of shit.

And I’m terrified. Gosh, I’m terrified. It’s real and I am scared shitless about giving myself to someone like I have been. He’s passed every test and checked off boxes I didn’t even know I had.

What does one do when they find bliss like this…and they’re terrified of losing it? My life has always been an uphill battle. Is this one of those steady rocks that will give way when I least expect it?

Dear God I hope not. Dear God I pray not.

He never makes me feel like I’m “extra” or that my curves are detriments. He questions not why I do things but rather sits and waits and learns.

Being with him has taught me that flowers take weeks and months to bloom but they’re beautiful eventually. He calms my mind when I feel out of control and doesn’t pity me in my moments of weakness. He rather uplifts me and makes me feel stronger after all of them.

I know people say this often and mostly as teenagers, but I’ve never felt this way about another human and I pray my heart is not about to be broken.