God is a funny funny immortal being. Just when I think, maybe, just maybe I can rest my mind and settle, He has a way of confusing me once again. I thought I was finally in a position to be happy with my job and my family life. I thought maybe things were lining up…
Tag: learning
Ode to my rapper
I am in love. Yes. No, I’m not kidding. Love-love. That kinda crazy, you talk a little too much and you share your dreams type of shit. And I’m terrified. Gosh, I’m terrified. It’s real and I am scared shitless about giving myself to someone like I have been. He’s passed every test and checked…
A philosophy of sorts
Sometimes you wake up and you look at yourself and you’re like, “Damn. I’m fly.” And it’s not just like you have a cute outfit on or your makeup is on point, it’s that you feel good about your insides and your actions and you may not know exactly what is going on at all…
Purest imagination
Sometimes when things are going so well, I get really scared. Like I’m terrified. Any moment, the proverbial shoe could not only drop it could sink into a deep black endless wormhole with no other side. Because when things are this good, it’s only a matter of time before my luck runs out. It’s happened…
“You’ve done a good job.”
My therapist said that to me this past week when I told her I was moving and would have to stop coming to see her. I’ve become one of those crazy bitches that shines a little brighter after finding out their therapist is proud of them. It’s been…a second? A minute? Awhile? All of the…
I call that shit God
Lately, I’ve been having somewhat of an identity crisis. With my hair. As a black female, I change it a lot. As a black female with short–but not too short–hair, I can do a lot with it. Braids, curls, etc. etc. Recently, I’ve gotten into wearing this big wig. Now, the reason for this is…
Thunderstorms and beaches
I have these moments, many if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, where I am/feel like a bad bitch. You know? I feel like I can walk the streets by myself and be so comfortable and badass. Then… Then there are other times. When it’s raining and there is a storm watch for like…
Paul
Suggested soundtrack: The Winner Is – Mychael Danna and DeVotchKa I’ve always tried to be weirdly honest on this blog. I do this because I believe in transparency (even if it’s only with strangers) but also because I think it plays into the central goal of this blog: to better understand myself and my relationships by closely…
Anxiety Trips
Post from December 14, 2017 Anxiety is waking up at 4 a.m. multiple days in a row because your brain is wired. Thinking about things that are not major. Thinking of every possible way things could go wrong. It’s having to talk yourself down from panic attacks in public and developing coping mechanisms for when…
Shelter
Have you ever been quietly content? There is much on your mind. There are crazy emotions swirling up in the noggin and in your heart but there isn’t anything you can do about them as you sit so you choose to be quietly content with things as they are. Currently quietly content. Family, friends, lovers,…
Serenity Searching 