Growth is understanding that self sabotage is real and that sometimes, it is your fault. But further reflection helps you understand that sometimes hurt people hurt others and sometimes hurt people hurt themselves as a form of punishment because they don’t think they deserve any better. I know I deserve better. I know I should…
Tag: reflection
Satisfied
I’ve started this blog post about three times now. But, as you can probably tell, I haven’t been satisfied enough to post it. I miss it. I miss writing my thoughts down. I know, subconsciously, that I haven’t been because if I start writing, I will also start crying and frankly I haven’t been in…
I am confusion
God is a funny funny immortal being. Just when I think, maybe, just maybe I can rest my mind and settle, He has a way of confusing me once again. I thought I was finally in a position to be happy with my job and my family life. I thought maybe things were lining up…
May I have this dance?
Things look a little different these days. I’ve said it before but I started this blog at a time in my life where I was sad and lonely and vulnerable. I’m still sad sometimes. And sometimes I feel alone in my struggle. But the girl who started that blog has changed. And thus, it’s also…
Must reclaim my kingdom
When I was a kid, I used to love living in my head. There, I was the princess and I was the dashing hero. I slayed beasts and saved myself. I made up stories of love and triumph. I went on grand adventures to far off worlds while living in a home I didn’t always…
Shower
Near my new(ish) apartment is a beautiful little park behind a school. 2 minute walk from me. In the center is a man-made lake with a small geyser that shoots out water. Sometimes it rotates and you’re showered with tiny water droplets that evaporate within seconds, even in the cold, since it’s such a small…
A philosophy of sorts
Sometimes you wake up and you look at yourself and you’re like, “Damn. I’m fly.” And it’s not just like you have a cute outfit on or your makeup is on point, it’s that you feel good about your insides and your actions and you may not know exactly what is going on at all…
4:42 a.m.
The wind outside my window sounds like waves crashing into rocks. Like an angry ocean the intensity ebbs and flows from a soft tap on the side of my windows to damn near shaking the apartment. Lone cars zooming down the street remind me that nope, not on a boat. Simply in a windy corridor….
Breathless
Sometimes I worry I’m too stubborn. Sometimes I ask myself if I am too self righteous. A know it all. An uncompromising bitch. Sometimes I wonder if, in my quest for constant self awareness I’ve closed myself off. Should I forgive that friend? Should I explore that relationship? Should I speak up on something that…
Serenity Searching 