Have you ever sat and thought about the craziness of some technological advancements? Can you imagine the look on the faces of the Wright Brothers if they took a flight from Philly to the Midwest? Could you hear the screech of Alexander Graham Bell as he explored an iPhone? Could you picture the look on Sojourner Truth’s face as I sat, just like everyone else, in a seat on a plane and was not hassled or harassed? Could you envision the tears that would run down the face of Ida B. Wells as I told her I’m a black woman and a reporter for a nationally recognized network?

Like. Y’all. Shit is horrible right now. 1000% still not where we need to be socially, equality wise, etc. but one has to take a moment every now and then to think about how far humans have come.

Maybe it’s because I’m sitting on a plane as I’m writing this or maybe it’s because after a year of hardships I spent two solid weeks with my sister and her beautiful family at their new house. Maybe it’s connecting with all the wonderful people in my life and starting the year off on a good foot. Who knows. But damn.

Politically and socially, things are going backwards. We need to work on that. But the fact that we as a nation can work on it, regardless of race, religion or creed? That we had people who fought and died for us to be here to fight for the future? Now that shit had me in tears five minutes ago as this plane took off.

I’m thinking about my life. I’m think about how I complain on here often about the rough parts. I do share the great parts too, I’ll give myself some credit. But I think I could do more.

This year I said I’m not going to focus on cutting out people or negative emotions. Rather, I’ll exert energy to fill my life with positive, radiant beings who only want the best for me. It may sound like the same thing but trust me, the effort required to maintain anger and sadness in your heart is so much greater than being open and instead wanting to fill up on positive vibes.

I’ve also started therapy. I’m excited to see where it all goes because I would love to cleanse my heart of the darkness I know resides there from past traumas.

I’m dating this year. No, I’m not dating someone currently (although I am talking to someone but it doesn’t really count). More so, I’m just being more intentional about not restricting myself. Again, the whole idea of working not to keep out certain relationships and life experiences but rather to focus more on obtaining the ones I want without clouding that goal with what I don’t want to do.

I want this year in particular to not be one where I’m like “New Year, new me, new experiences.” Rather I want to just be more open without a solid, rigid plan.

My family is doing so well. My sister, my beautiful sister. She and I prayed that 2018 would be a better year for her and I. It was. Now the seeds that we planted are starting to sprout. Hers are just massive. Her baby was born, they moved, she’s in the process of solidifying her dream job. Ugh. It’s so amazing to see her flourish. It makes leaving just a little bit easier.

Mine are more mental. I’m ready to have someone help me get to the place I want to be mentally. I’m ready to make headway on these small life goals I’ve been putting off for years because so many large things were in the way and taking precedent. Going to the dentist in two weeks. Making an eye appointment tomorrow. Moving apartments in two months. Brushing my teeth twice a day and flossing every.single.night.

I’m ready.

-M