You cannot want more for someone than they want for themselves.
Sometimes I get frustrated because I want the best for those I love and care about. One could say I have high standards and I’m judgmental. And I would agree. But all of it comes from a place of love. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t want you to be the best version of yourself or to surround yourself with people who have respect for you.
But then I have to check myself. Who am I to place such a standard on others? Lord knows I am not perfect nor do I follow all the rules I set for myself. I cannot in good conscious judge or condemn the actions of those I love so wholeheartedly that I cut them off or I am not there for them. I can’t because, again, I love them.
And furthermore, I know there has to be a balance. I have to love them but also let them learn to love themselves.
I can’t want more for someone than they want for themselves because it will do nothing but break me.
However, I can choose how I engage. I am still going to try to put myself in the company of those who I can discuss and learn from and with. Those that bring me peace even when we don’t see eye to eye. Those that when we chat I can feel like I’m being heard and that the things they’re saying are coming from places of love.
Arms length from certain situations is what I will have to do.
Sometimes one has to change how they approach a situation for their own mental sanity.
I love you. I care about your well being. The decisions you make are your own, however. I have made my feelings clear and that is all I can do. Now you will deal and I will be happy for your happiness and can not intervene too heavily in your frustrations for my own sake and for the sake of our relationship.
Growing is painful. It’s hard and it is uncomfortable. I don’t like the way it makes me feel at times but I am aware I cannot stop it. Rather I have to be vigilant and aware. I have to reflect and make sure I am checking in on myself and why I am the way I am and how that affects my relationships.
Love love love,