Rabbit Hole

So if you’ve been on this journey with me you probably noticed something out of character for me today. This will be my fourth update on one day.

Let me explain. I always start these blog posts and forget about them. I usually don’t ever go back and upload them but I think each one I uploaded earlier is important to understanding the world of madness inside my head.

One of my biggest principles as of the last few years is that multiple people can live inside the same body. No, I am not saying everyone should be hearing voices or the like. What I mean is that over time we can grow and our opinions can shift. Likewise, I think opinions that might appear “contradictory” can also exist inside the same being. So long as there is a method to the madness.

“We are all different people all through our lives and that’s okay, that’s good you’ve got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.” — Matt Smith, Doctor Who.

Almost positive I’ve said this many many times on here before

It’s like how I view religion. I am a pretty religious individual. I have a huge amount of faith and I try to have a good relationship with God.

However, I hate anyone who tries to push religion onto other people or doesn’t respect someone else’s decision to not practice any religion. I also don’t believe my religion is the one supreme religion. Faith doesn’t work like that (in my opinion).

Two thoughts. One body. Totally copacetic.

It’s relevant because I might be crazy right now with feeling sad and angry but I’m also so grateful at the same time.

I won’t lie and say it’s easy to have these two warring emotions inside me at all times. I won’t lie and say I don’t cry sometimes. I won’t lie and say I don’t dance for joy and skip down the street. Often on the same day. I do all of these things and more.

I am learning that my adult life is not as black and white as I thought it would be or as the rest of my life has been. One bad incident does not mean the entire day is ruined. Likewise, just because you’re having great things happen, doesn’t mean you can’t be sad about something else.

I know, I know. No one is stopping me from feeling all of these things. I think it’s just taken me a bit to recognize that it’s perfectly fine to be this way. And that there are a lot more people that way than even I originally thought.

Cheers to being young, confused and excited all at the same time. Oh, also dumb and broke.

-m

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