For once, I am writing not because I have to but because I want to update you. This post is entitled unbothered because that is how I feel through and through. I am free. I feel free. These shackles I had on my soul, on my heart squeezing and sucking the life out of me? Those shits have fallen away. I’m on a cloud of euphoria. No, I’m not high. Well, maybe a little but not because of drugs or alcohol. I am drunk off my unapologetic self.
Have you ever seen the movie Pixel Perfect? It’s an older Disney movie. At the end, the main characters are twirling around in the rain. Both of them in one body because one them is a computer program (yes, it’s a trippy movie). When it’s time for the computer to “move on” a gust of light plows the girl down and she returns back to herself without the computer inside her. It’s a good movie, you should check it out.
I’m sorry if this is all over the place. It’s a stream of consciousness that I don’t want to edit.
I just had a walk with Michael. And you know what? I feel free. No longer do I feel tethered to souls besides those whom I love and respect. No longer is there someone in my life who brings me to tears. I’ve dealt with them all.
Matt is an immature sociopath and is a fly on the windshield of my life. He taught me a lot about relationships and for that I am grateful. Michael is just a bad person whose personality and mine do not mesh. There are some people who just don’t belong in our lives and I am so incredibly at peace with it right now.
I feel like for once I can’t place in words this feeling, besides being free. My mind is no longer racing. My heart so filled with and anxiety and fear, so heavy from avoidance and nerves is finally steady. It’s silent for the first time in months.
Peace, love, freedom