Sometimes I get in a funk and while I’m in said funk I feel like I won’t ever be able to crawl out. Most of the time I’m aware that I’m in a funk and usually work actively to claw my way of it. Sometimes, however, I don’t know. I don’t know that I’m not feeling 100% until I’m back to feeling 100%. Not even when I write do I realize that I’ve “misplaced my mojo” until the very end of an entry. Then unexpectedly I listen to a song or talk to a friend and slowly begin to inch my way towards the entrance of the dark cave I’d relegated myself to and walk back into the light.
This happened this past week (reference my post “Stop Interrupting My Grinding” to get why I was even in a funk). I’m back to 100% though. I owe a lot of it to Chance the Rapper.
A couple days ago Chicago-based rapper Chance the Rapper released a mixtape, Coloring Book. From the first few minutes of the first song, “All We Got” I was tearing up. Others including “How Great”, “Blessings”, “Same Drugs” and “Finish Line/Drown” produced similar reactions. Chance’s infusion of rap and gospel and pop culture and religion was simply perfect. For someone who is religious and had been in a funk, it was amazing to hear references to something I value so much in a manner that touched me on so many levels. I was legit dancing around in my room all afternoon yesterday because of this album.
Immediately following listening to the album I talked to my friend from home and I realized something important: like Chance, I have come a long way. I have so much to be thankful for. Despite my rocky relationship with them, my parents are here for me and I have a relationship with them. I have incredible friends who I know always have my back. I’m living out my dreams of traveling and I am more mentally at peace here than I have been in many, many, many years. I prayed for so long for a rainbow at the end of the storm and I got it. I am learning at a university. Something some people only dream of. I’m not saying I haven’t been grateful. As I’ve said previously, I am so incredibly happy to be where I am and I thank God often. I’m just realizing that I have more to be grateful for than even I was aware of.
I also want to take this opportunity to say to you, dear Stranger, to go sign up for the 3 month trial of Apple Music or go to ChanceRaps.com and go listen to this album. (Sidenote: although there are some songs that I would classify as straight up gospel-rap, there are also songs that are uplifting because they’re just good bangers/trap music — i.e. “All Night” and “Smoke Break”). I am not being paid for this (the thought of anyone PAYING me for the shit I write here just made me actually laugh out loud).
I normally wouldn’t do this but the cover photo for this post is me. In my truest and happiest form. I found my peace through doing something I thought I would never get to do and through music. I don’t know what your niche or your inspiration is. I don’t know what gets you out of your funk, but I hope you find it. My hope is that when I go home I can see my nephew and teach him to always have that desire inside him for mental peace. I spoke about this with my friend yesterday. One’s mental state dicates so much more than just how they interact with others. It’s also about how they see themselves and how they internally interact with themselves.
Chance found his peace (I think in his daughter). In the words of Tom Breihan, “My mood’s been lighter since this morning, since I first hit play on it. That’s how generous Chance has been with his bliss-bubble: He’s blown it up huge enough that the rest of us can fit inside.”
Peace and Blessings,
-M
P.S. The first song: