When I started this blog I didn’t want to talk about faith or spirituality because in this day and age, you say anything about faith and you are automatically seen as a zealot. I have faith, and I assure you I am not a zealot. I do not want to push my faith onto anyone and I don’t believe that everyone has to have faith in a higher power. All that I demand in regards to faith is respect from others in relation to me having faith.
Strange opening to a post, I know. Tonight and today, I think I got to see one of God’s mysterys. No, I was not in a near death accident or anything even close. I was saying goodby to a friend, a friend who I didn’t know I had influenced in any way. Turns out I did. I am almost in tears writing this. I don’t know when/if I will see him again. I am going abroad for a semester (Australia) and I don’t know where the future lies for him. He believes his time is fleeting and expressed to me a simple concept: live, live like there will be no tomorrow. I have always heard that but to hear it from someone you respect and someone who lives and breaths that philosophy is something that, no matter how many words I write or how well my description of it is, cannot be put to paper or screen. It gives you life in a way that no other words can. To then have that person, whom you respect even more now after hearing about how they see and examine the world, tell you that they appreciate you, it does something even more to you.
I needed that. My last posts focused on this heartbreak I felt and this sense of inadequacy that has overtaken my being this semester. To have someone like that say those things and mean it, it doesn’t magically glue up the heart that is broken but it sure as hell helps. I believe that God never puts us in situations we can’t handle. He is constantly looking out for our mental state and sends us reminders every now and then, when we need it the most, of our worth. I truly believe the world works in mysterious and powerful ways and I just had to share that.
Yesterday I was at one of the lowest states I have been in in a long time. For me, I continue to have faith because of nights and days like yesterday where I felt so lost, so unloved, so sad but had it turned around by the most unlikely source. That is not a coincidence, a refuse to believe it is.
I wish you peace and much love, reader. Know that if you’re feeling crummy right now you will not always be. No, I am not regressing to “we expect the love we think we deserve”. I’m simply stating that you never know when things will change for you or when you will get a reminder that life is not shit. I got mine yesterday and I am so very grateful.